Words We Heard: ‘The best moments in life are rarely choreographed.’
The one thing in my life that I’ve struggled with the most is my uncanny ability to overthink and overanalyze. I am prone to immense indecisiveness. So much so that I couldn’t decide where I wanted to go to college and ended up drawing out of a hat. My mom often refers to me as a procrastinator, but the truth is, I’m so scared of making the wrong decision that I repeatedly analyze it multiple ways until I can’t put off the decision any longer. If I could blame it entirely on being a Libra, and our innate desire for balance, I would. But really, my indecisiveness stems from fear. In everything I do, I’m scared to make the wrong choice, offend the wrong people, or take the wrong opportunity. Even when I’m talking, I second guess the things I say and will trail off in the middle of a sentence. Then I claim I lost my train of thought, but really I’m just wondering whether I’ve said too much or sounded too boring, so I decided to just stop talking. (For those of you who have witnessed me do that, I have just revealed a very embarrassing secret.)
Somehow every moment seems monumental, weighed down by the consequences of missed chances. I envision scissors that will cut my future opportunities away like a stray string from my favorite green sweater. And yet, I desire to be spontaneous, to roll the windows down in my car and let the wind blow the dust away like I wish it could blow away the doubts in my mind. I’m striving to believe that my decisions aren’t “end all, be all” solutions, that a mistake or two isn’t the end of the world, but rather the opportunity to learn about it.
Although I’m by no means an expert on overcoming indecisiveness yet, I’m starting out small. When a friend asks where I want to go for dinner, instead of saying, “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” I’ll give a place off the top of my head. Instead of trailing off when I don’t know whether I should be saying something or not, I’ll power through. And if something or someone needs an answer, I’ll give myself a deadline to give them one.
It won’t be easy to overcome my analytical nature to tackle the world without hesitation, but I already know that the decision to do so will be worth it. And I didn’t need to make a pros and cons list to arrive at the conclusion, so that’s a start.
- “If something's really making you miserable, you need to listen to yourself about that. Listen to why it's making you miserable. If I'm procrastinating on something, there's probably two reasons: One is I hate it, and it's generally making me miserable and it's something that I need to see if I can stop in some way. … So, you have to listen to yourself and think about why it's hard. Ask yourself: Are you doing these things out of obligation? I think that at least knowing what those things are is a good start.” –Nancy Yerian, public historian, in an interview with Women of Cincy
- “Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving; we get stronger and more resilient.” –Steve Marboli, public speaker, author, and behavioral scientist, in a quote from Conscious Magazine
- “If life were meant to be easy, we would have no lessons to learn. … When we experience rejection, one must take into consideration that this is not the end of an opportunity. Some doors are meant to close. Your job isn’t to open them up again.” –Diana Chin, writer and designer, in an article for She Owns It
- “Define or be defined. Decide who you are and who you will become, and don’t let anyone else make that definition for you.” –Nancy Aichholz, president and CEO of Aviatra Accelerators, in an interview with CincyInno
- “Remember, the best moments in life are rarely choreographed. They just happen because you are ready.” –Carol Sankar, founder of The Confidence Factor, in an article for Inc.