Words We Heard: ‘I will continue my walk unashamed of my humanness.’

Towards the end of every year, resolutions and #newyearnewme are thrown around on social media, in daily conversations, and in the news. Amongst all the eat healthier, work out, be on time, worry less, coming up with New Year’s resolutions can seem like a daunting task. There’s a burning need to do better than the year before, to make this year the year and be everything you weren’t the year prior. I get excessively introspective and analytical around this time; I look back at every embarrassing moment throughout the year (and there are many), every moment I said one thing and did another, and times I put myself down instead of helping myself stand up. Afterward, I usually type up a whole page of New Year’s resolutions I print out in a fancy colorful font and put into a binder slip. And at the end of the year, I look back on these and realize I haven’t accomplished any of them.

But this year, I’ve decided to do something different. Instead of writing a whole obnoxious list of things that take years to fulfill, I’ve decided to practice one thing; self love. It won’t be an easy feat, but it will be worthwhile.

If you love yourself, everything else comes easily. It’s the loving yourself bit that can be hard. But catch the voice inside your head that says, “No I can’t,” in response to “I can do better.” Instead of perfection, strive for the ability to accept yourself and move forward. Write down things you’re grateful for. And when insecurities tear at you with the word “can’t,” shove them aside and tell them, “I can.”


  • “If you spend eight years building a house (no matter how uncomfortable or ugly it may be, no matter how impractical or poorly lit), it becomes nearly impossible to knock it down. That is about how long I put into building my social media presence, into becoming the cool girl I showcase on Instagram and Facebook. 

    "I built her without blueprints, not knowing that she would become a wall with no doors. She has stopped me from online dating, because that would mean I care about romance. She has stopped me from wearing pink, because that would mean I’m too feminine. She has stopped me from being publicly heartbroken, from sobbing on the orange subway seats, from showing up on Joe’s doorstep with the letters I wrote, because that would mean I’m not cool.” –Clara Dollar, finalist in the Modern Love College Essay Contest for The New York Times
  • “I am worthy – it does not matter how dirty my past is, how many mistakes I’ve made, or how many errors I’ve tallied up in life. My life is deserving of its best chance and I will continue my walk unashamed of my humanness.” –Minna B, founder of Respect Your Struggle, in an article in Conscious Magazine
  • “In every phase of our lives, we're actively being encouraged and rewarded for striving towards perfection, whether that means getting high enough SAT scores or racking up a certain number of Instagram likes or followers.” –Kimberly Truong, in an article on Refinery 29  
  • “I used to, when I would write, think I was just terrible and be judging every single sound I made. And a couple of years ago, right before I started playing out, it just hit me, like, ‘Oh, I don't really need to be this judgmental of myself,’ or the reflection of that, that I don't need to be that judgmental of other people, either.

    “Taking away some of that self hate and judgment has been a huge thing. And I don't think it's something you ever fully accomplish, but it's something that I'm happy with where I've come in that regard.” –Kate Wakefield, musician and composer, in an interview with Women of Cincy
  • “Center yourself. Take time to breathe and check in on what you need. Discard old stories you’ve told yourself about your self worth. Yes. It’s a long process. Establish new stories, based on the truths you want to live by, e.g., ‘I am worthy of happiness.’” –Jerico Mandybur, author, in an illustrated article on Girlboss