Dr. Shwetha Manoharan: One of Cincinnati’s Best ‘Gyno-chiatrists’
It’s a beautiful spring day, and I’m sitting at one of the picnic tables at Washington Park. The birds are chirping, music is in the air, and in the middle of everything, I find myself happy to sit down with… my gynecologist. While this may sound unusual, it’s actually the start of a very fun, light-hearted conversation with Dr. Shwetha Manoharan, a gynecologist with a devoted clientele, as evidenced in Cincinnati moms’ groups on Facebook.
Dr. Manoharan is a busy professional woman with young children of her own and a full schedule of patient visits. However, she could break away for a quick moment to talk to us about being a doctor, where she draws her strength from, and why you shouldn’t feel guilty about saying “no.”
Interview by Blaire Bartish. Photography by Angie Lipscomb.
What do you find most rewarding about your job?
I don’t know any other career where you can experience the highest of highs and the lowest of lows in a given day and hold the hands of people as they experience it, and then go home and cook dinner. It’s just so truly rewarding to be in someone’s presence when they are in the highest pain level of their life or in the saddest moments in their lives and grieve with them, but then also celebrate their joys and victories. There are just no words for it. Even in medicine, I don’t feel like there’s a single field where you have the emotions that we experience in a single day, all in one day. It’s not a shift. You still take it home. What’s crazy about it is you come back and do it again the next day. People trust me to take care of them in those moments – that’s rewarding.
What inspired you to become a doctor?
I’m actually from India, I was born there, and my dad emigrated to Maryland in 1990, where I grew up. Because we had so much family back abroad in India, we would go twice, sometimes three times a year, to visit. People talk about culture shock, but I didn’t know what that was as a four-year-old. But in hindsight, as an adult, I realized I witnessed things that kids will never witness growing up in America. It was like, “Oh, there’s a cow on this street, and there’s a person who is homeless next to it, and there is a guy making street food next to them, and this is normal.” And then we’d go to grandpa’s house where we’d have this nine-course feast, and it was like ‘Oh my gosh, what about that poor child that’s begging on the street right now?” It was this huge juxtaposition of living in the city and being pretty well off, but across the street is someone who is suffering. Suffering had so many different meanings for me as a child, and I remember telling my mom, “I want to do something.” She said, “Well, there are a lot of ways to help people,” and that’s when I decided I wanted to be a doctor.
Did you know right away you wanted to go into obstetrics?
No, obstetrics was on my shortlist of no’s because people scare you! They’d be like, “The lifestyle is terrible, you’re up all night long, there are hours of training, and people sue you.” I had mentors tell me, “Think of other fields of medicine that will allow you to sleep at night and have a good life/work balance.” I tried to pursue those but could not fall in love with them. I was faking it to myself. I was like, “Listen; if I’m going to be up at three in the morning, I’d rather it be for a baby being born.
Talk to me about self-care: yours and your patients.
Self-care… oh, man… I feel like I spend a lot of my day talking to women about it. I think mental health has come to the forefront without the taboo attached to it in recent years, which I’m so happy about.
I think there was always a stigma attached to “I’m struggling.” I think that if COVID has taught us nothing else, it is that we all struggled, each and every one of us. Whether we were well off or weren’t fortunate enough to have food on the table every meal, we all have struggles. We can all talk about it openly without being embarrassed by it. The fact that I’ve gotten so many appointments on my schedule for counseling, and I don’t have a degree in therapy. I’m not a psychiatrist, but at the office, we joke, “I practice ‘gyno-chiatry, now” because part of our health is our mental health.
So I appreciate that women are taking the time to say, “I’m struggling, I’m hurting,” and just having someone who listens has been monumental. It’s almost a therapy session to hear from a mom to a mom, “I get it, breastfeeding sucks,” or “I get it, this too shall pass.” I don’t know if that’s even really self-care but I think it’s important to acknowledge it.
Beyond that, just take time to be with yourself and reflect on making a goal and figuring out what you want to accomplish that week. That itself is self-care.
Lately, I’ve been talking with others about the self-care of taking time for ourselves to recognize who we are as people outside of being just moms. It’s true. Kids are our lives, but they shouldn’t be all of our lives. It’s important to have interests. Boundaries are so important, which I’m still really struggling with, and I’m sure there’s a ton of research on this, but saying “no” is self-care. I think we overextend ourselves as women because we don’t want to disappoint people. We’re always looking for that pat on the back, like, “She’s such a great person because she did this, this, and this for me.” Maybe doing something for others is not your way of validation; maybe you just need to say “no.” You don’t need to hear from others that you’re doing a great job because you are.
What is something people would be surprised to learn about you?
I’m really sarcastic and goofy, and I have to be professional at my job, so most people don’t see that side. On the flip of it, my husband only sees that side of me, so I don’t think he can comprehend that I’m a professional working person [laughs]. I love to cook; I love spending time on Instagram looking at the next recipe that I’m going to try. I used to be a dancer before medical school. I knew I would be a doctor, but that was my backup plan. I danced professionally. I did Indian classical dance for twenty years and traveled with a group. I started the first Indian Classical Dance team at the University of Maryland, and they’ve been number one since. I mean not to “toot-toot,” but I’m pretty proud of that.
Where do you draw your strength from?
My kids. And that’s my two-word answer [laughs]. Anyone with children will tell you that it changes you in every way, for the best way, and you finally live for something else. Their joys and their sorrows and their growth, and every little experience through their eyes, it’s what makes the world turn. Not to be cliché or sappy, but our kids are everything.
Who is an influential woman in your life?
I feel like everyone says their mom, but I might just have to say, my mom!
You never appreciate your mom until you’re a mom yourself. She just wore like a million hats, and I probably gave her so much grief about it when I was growing up, but she just never complained, and she just did. She has always served others; she’s always doing stuff for other people; talk about self-care, she needs it! My mom worked in clinical research. I remember she would have breakfast cooked for my dad, lunch cooked for all of us and packed, and then I would have a meal in the fridge waiting for me when I would come home from school. Then she would come home from the grocery store and not even take off her coat or shoes and cook a full dinner for us every single night. Every. Single. Night. She still does it! Even when we go home to visit, she’s always in the kitchen. She’s influential not because she cooks a lot [laughs], but it’s that selflessness that I was around.
Truthfully, she really didn’t want me to be a doctor. She was worried if I went into medicine, I wouldn’t have a balance or be able to have a family. However, when I told her that that’s what I really wanted to do, she’s always been supportive. There’s never been any “Maybe think about something else.” She’s supported everything and celebrated everything I’ve done. But she’s not a doting mom – I could win the Nobel Peace Prize, and she’d be like, “Oh, okay. So anyway, what are you having for dinner tonight?” [laughs]
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