Sex Talk with Emma: Keep or Let it Go

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Written by Emma Willig. Original artwork by Abby McGuire.

Okay, y’all. Now that we have rounded the corner into 2021, let’s talk about things we need to keep and things we need to let go of this year! It’s March, so resolutions are already a thing of the past (if you’re still doing it that’s cool, props to you!), but leaning into the theme of spring cleaning and a minimalist approach, here are my thoughts on love, dating, and life:

Hardballing: Have you heard of this dating trend? Basically, it’s about being able to re-evaluate your relationship if you’re in one. Is your person truly bringing you joy, or are you stuck in a cycle of pandemic comfort? Think of your relationship like your job – are you able to have upward movement, or are you stuck with an annoying boss? These are important reflection questions I think you can use in relationships, friendships, even your day-to-day decision-making!
My vote: Keep.

Astrolove: Astrolove refers to the idea of using your astrology chart to help you better navigate your love life. This is somewhat hilarious to me? I mean, BIG LEO energy coming from me, but at times I feel like I’m more like a Libra. I’m certainly not one to brush off the idea of astrology. It’s fun, and sometimes feels weirdly spot-on, right? However, I’m also not advising you to put all of your force into avoiding a Taurus if you’re a Cancer, or whatever. Give your person a real chance!
My Vote: Keep for fun, but let go if it’s the first thing on your mind.

Photo by Abby McGuire

Photo by Abby McGuire

 

Loungewear 24/7: Listen, I know, if one good thing came out of 2020 it was being able to constantly wear my “house only” comfy clothes. It became my 2020 silver lining. The world feels like it’s combusting, but at least I can be comfortable. But then I had to return to work and thus, return to my wardrobe of “real” people clothes. Honestly, it was difficult at first – but then I started to feel more like myself. Having more professional-looking clothes gets you back into a more normal mindset. I have even worn make-up a couple of times, y’all.
My Vote: Let it go! 

Zoom Dates: I have to say, I feel like this is revolutionary. If you’re like me, you can be pretty shy on the first interaction; this feels like a heaven-sent way of meeting people. Why not get to know the person, see them, hear their voice, before doing the awkward first date? It provides more of a safety net in case they do turn out to be boring or a creep. The bonus is that they only see your top half, so you can totally rock your favorite sweatpants below the camera.
My Vote: Keep.

Binging Netflix: Oh, the good old days of early quarantine, spending an entire day binge-watching “Tiger King”. Doesn’t that seem like a lifetime ago? I think 2020 has been the only year that I have watched more television shows than I have read books, and as a librarian, I feel ashamed. I mean, if T.V. is your thing, I totally get it! No judgment on my end, ever – but, I challenge you to read one book a month, find a new place to walk, or take an online dance class. Let’s make an effort to take our eyes away from the screen and work to get our bodies and minds moving. Make an effort to learn something new! (But absolutely binge “Bridgerton” if you haven’t already – and let that end on a good note.)
My Vote: Let it go.

Masturbating: I mean I wrote my whole entire first article about this, so you know how I feel! Have you read about how masturbating can boost your immune system? What a great thing to do in our free time! Buy a new vibrator, sex toy, or lubricant! Think of it as meditation or your personal time for relaxation. Taking some time to focus on yourself is so important in these times, don’t be afraid to explore yourself and your needs.
My Vote: Keep keep keep!

I’ll end it there for March! Keep practicing that self-love by taking care of yourself: Mind, body, and soul! Send me questions via Women of Cincy for other topics you want to hear about related to relationships, sex, dating, and self-care.

X.O.,

Emma

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Community Mix is our monthly hodge-podge of content from the voices of a hodge-podge of beautiful Cincinnatians. Catch up on “By the Book” and check out new editions of “Sex Talk with Emma” on the first Saturday of every month for a journey through the strange and wonderful world of sex.